Michael Stephen Levinson for Congress then President and world leader!
Uncle Sam Shazam an Economic Answer
Uncle Sam Shazam
The credit card anchors are pulling us down; wrecking America's dream. Their charge-it schemes come with hooks too deep to fathom. They dip both ends of the stick, skimming the sales with nets the fish cannot slip; then at the swipe of your card they reel out their dough, riding your line on the rate you agreed to, the total you owe.
Horrific stories abound. You pay your bills online on time. Build excellent credit. Then one night your laptop freezes. By a tock of the clock, you're late. Your interest rate jumps double digits, off the chart. Then you get the call. Sopranos on your cell.
Yet credit card folk appear angelic, necks to pay-check advancers who prey on the broke. The payday people put fifteen bucks on a hundred, their max two-weeks flat, and grinningly tell you, "That's 391.07 percent per annum."
The credit card giants and check advance dealers have something in common: The same filthy hands. Price fixers violate law. But their scams for scramming money are apparently legal, their shades, miniscule.
We need a public credit card option: The Uncle Sam Shazam!
The statute will read, regardless of your credit, an income guarantees your Shazam line comes with Shazam agreement: Uncle Sam Protection, the interest fair, plainly written clear, a teensy rate with excellent credit, higher for chronic late payers, your monies compounded quarterly.
The shops accepting Shazam can expect livable fees for all their transactions. You make the call, the citizen who flashes glam of Shazam, guaranteed extension.
Uncle Sam Shazam is a boon for Congress, too. Suggesting, "Public Option," burns their pocket through; halls of the Congress crowed by lobbyists, ducats by the bucket full. On Capitol Hill, lobbyists and prostitutes go far, share the same car. All aboard pay the fare, get their due.
Senator Max Baucus snatched three million pesos from the health care execs. Their single payer plan insures every body single, pesos them, unless you get sick. Then you don't have a prayer.
Lobbyists for entrenched purveyors will exercise their protection racket, rising to the call, stuffing campaign pockets up and down the hall, thousands for their elections, quid from the pros for Members of Congress all, to snub the Shazam, refuse to hold hearings, issue tabled, snubbing Nobel Prize winners on whether or not to consider saving us one trillion bucks a quarter.
Oh! That Shazam Card interest payment? That's in the statute. Interest goes to pay vigorish due on our national debt! I explained this idea to my banker: The public option for private creditor debt. The manager exclaimed, " We'll be back in the black."
Unless we draw down our worldwide debt we will soon be secondary rated, our vigorous dollar slashed! That's the debtor etch on the window; why worldly executives self-inflict with repugnant piles of money, G'zillion dollar bonuses that dwarf their pay. They quietly sense devaluation could be coming our way, trillions of deboned empty dollars ushering steep d'nouement, their inflation plan, stash while you can.
How long after 2012 before one stick of Wrigleys will chew up a dollar? When I was a kid five sticks cost a nickel. One dollar covered an emergency trip to Doctor Greunfeld's, a block away. A chunk of coal was stuck in my eye. Those days are gone. My eye is OK.
When our economy slumps in a funk, instead of braying for the Federal Reserve to adjust money cost, we can bump the Shazams of all our working folk 500 bucks, interest and payments not for six months. When the bottom is up, our economy pumps; their Fed economy, anomaly.
What about deadbeat non-payers? Oh? What about that income tax refund? Besides the vig from our national debt, Shazams' net, locked and boxed to square Medicare, saving trillions, we have home land security snookered, re-spoken for by Great Sam Uncle Shazam.
The conspiracy crowd shouts I'm nationalizing private debt, Uncle Shazam will get in our lives deeper yet, find out to whom we owe, and for what. That's right! Grin and get bare with it, the great skinny dip, our ship of state buoyed by Shazam; our all purpose patriotic ticket.
The government taps your transaction information and sweeps every move. Times where you go. Sees what you do. Good. Shazam dissolves their queasy need to tap our phones en masse, listening to one maybe wannabe terrorist! Cells qualified for spot checks should belong to those who hide behind cash. With Shazam we regain our homeland security, the privacy of our home spoken thoughts, sanctified in our sanctuary.
You approach an ATM. Insert Shazam, punch in your pin, whisper magic word, greenback appears. (Shazam magic word.)